When I was in grade 5, I had an amazing teacher. She was responsible for a lot of my elementary school success. I not only learned the mandatory subjects in class, but also what it’s like to be a lady with class. I stayed in most recesses and marked everyone’s work, I even helped co-create some new lessons. She taught me to pay attention to detail and to also own up to my mistakes. I ended up getting straight A’s that year, and I never felt like I wasn’t worthy of it. She let me know prior to report cards coming out that I deserved my accomplishments and that I should harness my intelligence into positive outlets. She believed in me and gave me a very special gift on my last day of school -that I still have today. It was a Harry Potter notebook that she knew I would love and she wrote a tiny message in the front that I can still recite off by heart to this day.

“Thanks to a wonderful student who will one day be an excellent teacher”

This encouragement made a lasting impact, even though I never became a teacher (at least not yet!), I always valued her advice and the subtle life lessons I learned along the way.

She passed away the next year from a battle with breast cancer at the age of 29 and she was the first person close to me in my life that ever died.

It didn’t feel like I lost a teacher, rather more so an aunt or a respected mentor. In grade 8, I was the first recipient of the Selena Merkouris Spirit Award, and it’s my most treasured award to date. My elementary school then planted a tree and placed a boulder with her name in front of the parking lot to commemorate her legacy.

When I found out I was expecting my daughter, I suffered from terrible nightmares for a whole month straight. Then one night I had a dream and there she was, I could see her vividly and even heard her voice for the first time in 13 years. Her presence in my dream brought so much tranquility, and when I woke up, I felt a huge sense of relief and ease. At 7am in the fog and drizzle, I drove over to her memorial boulder and cried and spoke to her as if she was truly there. I never had a nightmare after her appearance in that particular dream for the rest of my pregnancy and I’m still convinced that she acted as a guardian angel.

I don’t think I could ever forget her, and I don’t think she’s forgotten about me.

I miss you.

RIP Selena Merkouris