The Art of Mom

I love you, but I also need sleep

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Every night at 4am, my daughter will yell “Mommmyyyyyyy!” There aren’t any clocks in her room, and I’m pretty sure she is still unaware of basic time principles, yet without fail, she always calls out for me at the same time. This is her nightly call to make sure I come into her room and lie down with her or tuck her back into bed. You would think that by now I’d be used to this nightly routine, but I rarely go to sleep at the same time every night, so sometimes 4am is just too soon after I close my eyes. I’ve tried to ignore her and let her cry it out in her room, but that only worked while she was confined to her crib. Now she will march right into my room and demand I get up or make space for her to come in. I’ve even slept right through the “mommy” cries, and once woke up to her face 2 inches away from mine looking at me dead in my eyes… it was terrifying.

Before becoming a mom, I couldn’t imagine drinking coffee. It tasted like bitter hot bean water (which it is) and no amount of sugar or milk could change my mind. Now, I simply cannot go a whole day without at least 1 cup. It’s like as soon as I joined the mom club, I was welcomed with a giant mug of coffee and dark under eyes. I’m proud to say, I’ve graduated from a medium coffee with 2 milk, 2 sugars, to just 1 milk and no sugar! (But who cares really, just gimme the hot bean water!!)

I also used to be able to sleep through an entire thunder storm symphony prior to motherhood, and I even slept through my boyfriend and his rowdy friends playing beer pong and loud music all night while I was in the other room -WITH THE DOOR OPEN. A 12 hour sleep was just one joint away, and I could blissfully sleep through any stress or outside factor.

Que in a baby, and now I can’t remember the last time I actually had a solid 12 hour stretch with just the back of my eyelids for company. My magical sleeping abilities have gone and now I can wake up just from hearing my daughter toss and turn in the other room (true story)!

Even though I complain about all of this, I’m honestly thankful to be apart of this sleepless club. I know one day I won’t be needed as much through the night, and by then I will voluntarily lose sleep as I wait by the door for her to come home after curfew. But until then, pass me the coffee please!

The Art of Mom

Parent Life

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Here is how giving birth works: first you go through pain, then you might push out a baby (or have said baby taken from the womb via a C-section), then the placenta makes it’s exit, and then the set of instructions on how to raise the baby follows right after. Oh wait… that last part is definitely made up, because there isn’t a manual that comes along with your baby once you meet them. Becoming a parent is arguably one of the most interesting, difficult, crazy, fun and amazing experiences a person may go through, yet most of our knowledge on how to parent, is acquired as we proceed along our journey. We have to use our instincts and common sense, as we face the different situations our children grow through.

I never realized how hard it would be to always try my best when I’m around my daughter. I love playing with her and teaching her new things, but I also want to be firm about certain rules. I want to protect her and show her how much I love her, but also allow her some freedom to grow on her own. I have to provide her with a roof over her head and food in her belly, but that means sacrificing time with her, in order to make the money we need. The entire balancing act of it all can be tiring, but simultaneously rewarding and I would not change a thing.

I’m constantly learning new things about myself as I grow into my role as a mother, and so far, I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn!